Learning through pain isn’t something I enjoy…I guess no one really enjoys learning through pain though. I’ve been meaning to fill you all in on my most recent news. As the end of the semester came around, it became quickly apparent that Baylor would not be included in my spring schedule. When the realization finally sink in, my heart broke. I felt devastated, as if God had taken something away from me. But what I’ve learned over the past few weeks is…God didn’t really make the promise of Baylor for the Spring a promise to me. That was my interpretation of what I strongly believed he had told me to do. I had held on to this idea of becoming a nurse, and in becoming a nurse things would finally begin to come into play.
Devastation occurred.
Not any physical devastation. Only that which is in my heart.
The pride of being a Baylor Nurse on my first application…broken
The hope I had in being the savior of my family…Really Isabel, you are not Jesus you cannot save your family. Only JESUS can.
I’ve learned that putting my hope in things other than Jesus can be quite painful. I get so caught up in the here and now, seeing all the pieces coming together for the next step to my dream job. But though this process I never stopped or acknowledge the bells and whistles, closed doors or lack of an available sign language class.
What would have happened if I stopped, examined, and realized that the path I was going down was definitely looking less and less like the correct avenue.
I know that the Lord didn’t say no. And he’s not this cruel being that likes to give you things and quickly take them away. He loves giving good gifts, but always in his timing, not my instant gratification sinfulness or my heart.
So I’ve had to hang Baylor up on the hat rack and seek after additional guidance.
your updates are always so insightful- thanks for sharing