After a long flight, some frustrations and unexpected delays, I have finally arrived back in America. Okay, so I have been here for 48 hours now, but I am still in denial that I'm back. It hasn't hit me yet. I find myself sitting in my friend's gorgeous house with AC and wireless that is unlimited and fast. I have enjoyed a few of the luxuries I have missed over the past year, like Dr. Pepper, Reece's peanut butter cups and Mexican food, but still haven't had a beef burger from Sonic! Today I was supposed to be in North Carolina already, spending time with a friend before heading back to Texas, but instead I am sitting in this living room on a very comfortable, cozy couch. My car decided to not work properly yesterday and now I'm still in Georgia. All day I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with my car and how much it is going to cost. It has been a frustration, mainly because every time I have a plan it always changes. EVERY TIME! One would think to stop planning, and yet I don't. It has been good in a way, spending time with other friends, sharing some of what the Lord has brought me through over the past few years and actually spending time processing the fact that I'm back here and not holding my little babies or hanging out with the teenage girls. It's odd knowing that I'm not going across the street to check on Dudu or spend time with her sisters.
And of course not waking up and seeing Gift's children every morning. Something we tell students as they are preparing to go home is, "You will enjoy maybe the first week of normalcy, qiuetness, alone time and eating everything you want whenever you want. But then it will kick in after that. You will miss your team and ministering alongside them. You will miss having people around you constantly and living a simpler life."
As I spend time on the couch, catching up with friends, reminiscing about the past year, missing all my Swazi family but knowing that I'll be back with them again. One of the things AIM focuses on is debriefing. We debrief everything. While I was an FYM we always joked about the whole debriefing process. But I guess recently I have been reminded of the importance of spending time, reflecting on the ministry, the highs and lows, the ways I saw God work and move and areas of my personal life I still need to work on. This is a time to rest in the presence of the Lord, to be poured back into before getting back out there. Maybe that's why I'm still sitting here in Georgia. Taking a breath before jumping in. The Lord knows what He is doing, especially when it doesn't fit in my plans.
