My Return from Nsoko, Swaziland

For many years I have felt called to Africa. Once I accepted that calling I figured that Africa would happen sooner rather than later. After trying for over two years to get to Africa I had almost given up. There was no way I was ever going to make it to Africa with AIM. I thought that maybe if I tried going through a different organization and kept my skeletons in the closet, this time I could go for sure. And then something amazing happened. I was asked to lead a team last summer and I accepted without knowing where I was going to go. I figured it wouldn’t be Africa since I was told I wouldn’t ever get to Swaziland. The news came and Swaziland was the country in need of another leader. I ran out of the office in tears because the Lord had finally released me to go. It was definitely a journey to get there. I had to fly standby the first flight and the second the airlines weren’t allowing anyone else to check in. I couldn’t understand why getting to Swaziland had become such a feat. The moment I stepped foot on Swazi soil was amazing. Was I really there?  It was a good but hard summer and I felt like I could have done more ministry. When I returned home I had some regrets, nothing serious, just knowing I could have done more. 

 

I returned to college thinking I would stay here until I graduated so when the opportunity came for me to return to Swaziland, even for a week, I jumped at the chance to return to the land, the people and the culture I had fallen in love with the previous summer. After all, I didn’t know when I would be able to return again. As I was preparing to leave my heart was in anticipation. What would this trip look like? Will I be able to make up for my shortcomings from the previous summer? Will my heart break for those things that break the Lord’s heart or will my heart remain calloused? So many thoughts and all the Lord wanted me to do was to trust Him. Even though during the trip I fully enjoyed holding the babies, meeting with the gogos (grandmothers) and talking to some of the older kids, I was still unsure as to why I had actually returned to Swazi. By the end of the trip the Lord revealed and confirmed things in me that wouldn’t have been discovered or dealt with otherwise. I discovered that I do still have a heart and the Lord broke it many times over, I have been called apart to fight and war for those that aren’t able to, I have been equipped and empowered to break through areas where others aren’t able and in that minister to a nation full of shame and abuse. What the enemy meant for destruction the Lord has turned it around for good in bringing glory to His name. 

 

To be honest, the only reason I returned home so willingly was because I knew in just a few months I will be back there again. The Lord wrecked me beyond what I ever imagined, especially for such a short trip and allowed me to be apart of this next generation in Swaziland. Once again my world has been turned upside down, my plans have been thrown out the window and the Lord has renewed in me the urgency that is at hand for a nation and people group that is on the brink of extinction.