There’s no EASY button

A couple of weeks ago I went to a state park with my sister and her family. After cooking hot dogs for lunch and avoiding the hooks from the kids’ fishing poles, we decided it was time for a hike. We stopped at the front desk to see if they had a map for the trails and soon enough we were on our way. However, the trail we chose wasn’t very clearly marked. Even though we had this map, there were times that we had no idea where we were. We thought that we had found the correct trail and then ended up with fallen trees surrounding us. In my head I kept saying, “Maybe we should just turn around. I at least know how to get back to the place we started.” But we pressed on. The sun was setting, there was no trail to follow and the trees were all around us.

 

 I am the kind of person that likes to know the plan. I like to know what I’m getting myself into, what is expected of me, and have some kind of idea about the outcome of the situation. And I realized in the moments of “being lost” that I wasn’t alone. Sure I didn’t know how to get unstuck, but neither did the rest of my family. We needed each other to get from where we were to where we needed to be. That day still sticks in my mind so clearly. I try and try to get out of this place of unknowing, this place of being lost by myself. I feel like I’m being led astray many times and then I find myself surrounded by all of these trees and no sign of a way out. I have been there spiritually over the past few months. I have struggled through this re-entry phase, feeling lost and alone, secluding myself from the Body of Christ and wanting to go back to the place I started. But that is not the place that the Lord has called me to. He has called me to go on this adventure with my “family” (those that I find myself living amongst) and to keep pressing in. The end is near and it is going to be beautiful. Of course there are going to be times I want to give up, and I have tried. But I have had many patient friends that have challenged me along the way, encouraged me to keep fighting and pressing through.

I could have stopped and thrown a pity party, but that would have gotten me no where. In order to see the goodness that was waiting for me at the end of the trail, I had to keep pressing forward. I had to choose to say, “I am not going back to that place, I am going to trust the Lord during this time even when I can’t see a way out, and I am going to walk in community with other believers. There is no other way out. There is not a magic pill that can take away all the problems or worries, there is no EASY button, but there is a God that is there waiting beside you, ready for you to give over your control, to help guide you along this journey that may be jacked up. But beauty and redemption are at the end of this trail. There are no more ashes but instead the Son that has been excitingly waiting for you to make your way to Him.

I’m still working on getting to the end of this path. I am definitely still struggling on this path I am on, but I know the promises the Lord has given me and I choose to hold onto those promises. Each day holds something new and it would be easy to throw my hands up and say, “game over” but the Lord has called me to something bigger. He has called me out to speak truth into the broken places, not only in my life but in the lives of girls all around me.