So many times I find it hard to sit down and describe what is going on here. How do I summarize the emotions that occur day to day in different situations. How can I make you feel like you are there in the room with me as I hold the 5-day old baby boy, or sit in the room while giving TB injections to someone that is so frail? Or what about the days when I am greeted by girls of all ages by name and I can't remember each of theirs? This is my conclusion...there isn't going to be a way for me to express in writing all that is going on around me, to communicate accurately the feelings I experience in each and every situation, but I will try to give you a glimpse life here.
Most mornings I wake up to children outside my door, not trying to get my attention, just going on with their normal daily activities. I wake up, find some clothes and head out the door, often times unaware of what the day will bring me. I am greeted by a few Swazis on my walk down the driveway to the center and do my best to reply to them in my limited SiSwati vocabulary. Some days my ministry consists of accompanying the Real Life leaders in their adventures, other days I stick around the center and love on all the kids that I know will arrive for lunch or after school. When I am not with the team or with the kids, I help Pastor Gift with administrative duties or help his wife Philile with delivering things to the women at the carepoints or watching her children. I can't say that I have a set "ministry" that I do each day or that I am changing lives, but what I can say is that I am doing what I feel the Lord has called me to do each day, to love everyone I encounter, to build relationships with them and to show His characteristics through the way I live.
Most evenings I spend with the teenage girls that play netball. Yesterday at the center things were slow and there were only a few children around. I brought down a couple of card games and some fingernail polish. After playing a few rounds of UNO with some very small children, I sat and painted nails for at least an hour. The longer I sat there, the more girls began showing up. By 4:30 the sun was beginning to set but the netball girls hadn't played yet. So we all walked over to the netball court together and I watched them play until the sun had set.
Last night there was a knock on the door from the Real Life leader here. He said, "there are kids that haven't gone home and now they are sleeping...what should I do?" So he took them home. Then this morning they were already back so early. When asked about their mother, "She never came home last night. She was out drinking all night," and the father recently died from AIDS. These girls are so young. One is only 9 and she is taking care of her 2-year-old sister. They hadn't eaten since lunch provided from the carepoint yesterday at 1. It was now Sunday at 10 am. Pastor Gift's wife, Philile, made a big bowl of porridge for them to eat. I sat and made sure the baby got to eat and that the dog didn't take her food away. The other children that were around finished eating and went off to play at the other end of the property, leaving this two-year-old to finish eating all alone. I sat with her as she slowly brought the oversized spoon to her little mouth and licked off all of the porridge from it. After she had eaten all her stomach could take, she sat playing with a little twig from the ground. She was leaning on my leg and was looking so tired. I spoke to her in what little Siswati I know, but still nothing was said from her. Eventually she was in my lap, laying there as this tiny person that deserves so much more than she is receiving at "home". She fell asleep in my arms. This tiny little girl. As I was holding her my heart broke. The tears wouldn't stop coming. My already stuffed up nose was gathering more snot, but I just didn't care. What if this was my daughter, my sister, my niece? There are so many thoughts that run through my head. I want to fix this situation but what would that look like? What do you do? What can I do? And I still have no answer. The only thing I know to do is to love this tiny person that God has created. To be Jesus with skin on.
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 5/29/2009
The team was gone and I was left alone in a house too big for one person. It echoed when I walked in and there were no other voices or friendly faces to greet me. I knew I needed the next few days to rest, but in reality I couldn't stay in this house that reminded me so much of the ones I love. I was asked if I could help with a free clinic The Luke Commission was organizing for the following day. I weighed my options and joyfully accepted the opportunity to serve.
I arrived at Timbutini church/carepoint the following morning and there were already so many people waiting to receive medical attention. I helped with setting up the "store" and then awaited instruction. For every child that walked through the doors we were to fit them with a new pair of shoes and possibly some clothing. Child after child came in and the smiles on their faces never got old. Before I knew it, the last child was being fitted for shoes 4 HOURS LATER! It didn't even feel like 4 hours had gone by!
Waiting for the clinic
After cleaning up, I made myself useful in the eye exam tent. I was helping find the appropriate glasses and fitting them. I then had the opportunity to "shadow" a physician's assistant for the rest of the day. She's a busy woman, always making sure that things are running smoothly and still fulfilling her medical and family duties. It was a good day. I learned a lot through observation and application.
Lines of children waiting to come inside for shoes and clothes
It's a joyous day today as water has come to Nsoko! Before, the water was gathered from the borehole down the road and brought back in the wheelbarrow. The well has been drilled for a while now, but they couldn't do anything since the electricity hadn't been turned on. Now, there is electricity in Pastor Gift's house and soon the clinic and the community center. And the water came from the well for the first time! Now it is only a few yards away from the door and as soon as they finish laying the pipes the water will be flowing through the house and other two buildings. It is a very exciting day and we are rejoicing as the Lord continues to provide all of our needs.
28 May 2009
Today the men were busy laying the water pipes and setting the tank up. I was so excited as I watched this process taking place! Water is inside the house and there are only a few more kinks to be worked out.
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 5/29/2009
I've been thinking about writing this blog for quite a while now, but I haven't really had the desire or the words. Maybe because it means the end of a chapter for me and those transitions are never really fun. But, the time has come and I must write!
We love each other...
I had to say my goodbyes to a family I told myself I wouldn't get attached to. It's easy, so to speak, for me to come and live and serve in Africa. Leading, however, is something totally different. I have never seen myself as a leader, I have never had a desire to be a leader and then I was asked to do the job I didn't really want. A leader is defined as "a person followed by others." My life has been anything but an example of a "good Christian girl." That is part of the reason I didn't want to accept this position as a leader. I had no right to lead girls and have influence over their lives. My behaviors and actions aren't things that I want others to follow. I was constantly fighting the Lord, to hand over the reigns and let Him be in control, to lay everything at His feet and believe that I am forgiven, to be stripped day after day of the impurities in my life. I didn't even know what was going on in my life for most of the year. I do know that I am a sinner and I fall short constantly. It's not about me at all but bringing glory to the Father. This was something I had to constantly remind myself of during this year.
We talked all year about making a human pyramid...so we did!
It only took me months to be honest with myself. I found myself surrounded by an amazing group of people that the Lord had entrusted me to care for and serve. They challenged me in ways I didn't want to be challenged. They loved me for who I was, no matter the situation. They encouraged me to grow daily and even now as they are back home and I remain in Swaziland. After dropping them off at the airport I returned to the team house. It's so big and lonely without 17 other bodies living there. I have been forever changed, not only by the 17 on my Swazi team, but by the numerous others that served in Jeffreys Bay and Port Elizabeth this past year. The Lord brought us through so much and He will continue to walk with us through the hard times no matter where we find ourselves.
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 4/15/2009
The past few weeks have been rough here in Swaziland. There have been various break in attempts and thefts at our house and also to a few of our students. We have "lost" two very precious and dear family members due to medical reasons. They are both back in America receiving fine medical care. And another close friend of ours on one of the teams in South Africa is now rejoicing in heaven! I am not writing in attempts to give glory to the "bad" things that have been going on, rather I am writing to give all the glory and praise to God who is in control of all things. There have been times where it would have been so easy to give up, to throw up my hands and walk away from all of this. And of course thoughts like, "If I were back home then it wouldn't be so bad," or "Is it really worth being here just to go through so much pain?" But my God has been there through it all. He has been my continued source of strength and wisdom during times of confusion and hurt. He has quieted my constantly in motion mind, has brought healing to the still wounded places in my heart and has revealed Himself to me in ways I never fathomed.
My Cape Town adventures with three beautiful girls!
Every Sunday evening we get together as a family and spend some time in corporate worship. Last night we focused on the death and resurrection, and remembering all that the Lord has done for us. The awesome thing about last night was the way He has revealed His love to each one of us through each one of us. Only God could have orchestrated bringing together a group of 18 complete strangers and creating a unique bond less than a year of meeting each other. There is true community happening all around me. I have seen how effective the Body can be when we are in Christ. We can always come and do "good things," but unless we are centered in Him that is all we are doing, "good things." Nothing will really change.
Our fearless leader, Matt, doing what he does best...loving those that are forgotten
Every moment I spend with my team is another opportunity that God reveals a small part of His character to me. I LOVE my team, my family. They bless me more than they will ever know. They have taught me and challenged me. They love me for who I am, for the moments when I laugh during prayer or run around the house with glow sticks at 2 in the morning. They love me for buying them food to eat. They love me because they are each a living example of Christ and He IS LOVE.
I'm usually not a lyric writing person, but this is a great portrayal of what things have been like recently.
Keep singing-Mercy Me
Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
and all I feel is pain
and all I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I cant move when I don't know what I should do when I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising your name
You're the one that is keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising your name
That's the only way that I find healing
Can I climb up in your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing
Can i climb up in your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
You're everything I need
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 4/13/2009
So what is it I do with the rest of my time? When I'm not buying groceries for the team to eat, hanging out and pouring into the people I live with or fetching them from ministry I usually find myself in the office or going to some of the carepoints AIM and Children's Hope Chest run in the Manzini area.
Each carepoint is different, sometimes the kids come running up and want to be held while other times the kids avoid me like the plague. I'm white, they don't know me, and so therefore are afraid of me. It's interesting to watch them eventually warm up to me, usually right before I leave for the day. I may do this once or twice a week, depending on the week and the needs of the team.
The first time I went out to Bhobhokazi (bo-bo-gazi) I was surprised that they even called it a carepoint. The cooking structure could hardly be called a structure at all, they had no place to store the food, the kids have no place to play but there were many chickens to chase! By the next time I went out there, a church had come from America with Children's Hope Chest and they have adopted this carepoint as theirs. Now there is a place to store the food, even though we are still waiting on the glass for the windows to be bought.
I got there with the Swazi discipleship team and there was a gogo or two and one kid that wanted nothing to do with me. Soon enough another little girl arrived and it was so sweet. The only thing I had to do to make her laugh was make a fish face. I love being a kid again! Her laughter was precious! Sure enough, the first little boy was curious as to why he couldn't laugh and have fun too. More and more kids began showing up to the carepoint and so we each had our designated stations. There were so many kids and not enough space in the one room storage structure that I was kicked outside! It was fun. When I wasn't entering new profiles for the numerous children that now go to Bhobhokazi, I was making fish faces and trying to escape the down pour of rain! The kids are precious and I want to see good come to them all. It's in moments like these I have to remind myself that I am only a small piece of the puzzle here in Swaziland. In my time here I can't expect to make a huge impact, but in the long run the part that I have helped with brings the picture into completion.
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 4/13/2009
Gugu's school in the squatter camp was so much fun! Gugu never planned on being a teacher or even opening up a school until the Lord told her to. She approached a group of young kids one day that couldn't afford to pay the school fees and began talking to them. She asked them, "how many of you are virgins?" and none of them raised their hands. She thought that maybe they didn't understand so she asked again, "How many of you have never had sex?" and still no one raised their hands. She asked why they behave that way and their response, "We have nothing else to do." Finally she asked, "If there were a school you could go to would you stop having sex?" Her school is informal, the kids don't have to pay to go and some even are able to continue their education at a formal high school and finish their exams.
Once again, we all jumped in the koombie, drove down our safari-type road, over many speed humps, past the dump and into the squatter camp. It's always amusing to see people's reactions as many white North Americans make their way out of a small minivan. We went with our garden tools, and had shovels, hoes and a machete and cleaned the school grounds up. Before we began though, the kids sang us a few songs, and one of them was in Setswana, the language of Botswana. That one was about how the little kids praise the Lord, then they each praised the Lord by doing their own little dance and one part says, "Even our mother praises the Lord" and so the teacher danced and praised the Lord too!
In no time the guys were outside with a vision of how to transform this schoolyard. They began moving the big tractor tires, weeding and setting up an area for a sandbox. Some of us were busy removing the 3 piles of bricks that were now overgrown with weeds and creating a walkway from the sandbox area to the steps of the school. After all of the bricks were removed we moved the ant infested logs and began weeding the rest of the area. There were so many crawling bugs and spiders...ugh! Within five hours we had the place looking new and the kids had an area to play in. Gugu sat and watched as this transformation took place and was very pleased!
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 3/31/2009
One Saturday we loaded up the only vehicle that holds our entire team (we have to reserve this bus and our friendly driver, Elliot) and drove out to a carepoint on the other side of Swaziland. Each year the kids that go to the carepoints regularly get a new pair of shoes that have been donated by Samaritans Feet or another shoe company called Yield that makes crock-like shoes. Our team was very excited to take part in this ministry and we were a blessing to the Swazi staff that distribute these shoes to many carepoints all over Swaziland.
We arrived at the church building and met the pastor and his wife, the ones that run this carepoint then began setting up for the distribution. We began with a mini church service then had about 10 chairs, each with a plastic tub with water in front, waiting for a child to have his or her feet washed. Our team joyfully accepted this ministry opportunity and began serving each and every child that came their way. I saw Jesus in that church building that day. After washing the feet of the kids, we prayed over each one and gave them a new pair of shoes. We had to make a few trips to the shoe piles to find a size that would fit, but it was enjoyable.
Posted in Swaziland by Isabel Maldonado on 3/24/2009
Make (pronounced ma-gay, means mother in Siswati) Peggy has many children living on her property. She has opened up her house to provide a safe place for children who have no one to care for them or that come from bad homes. When we arrived there were so many little kids and a field with many weeds, a trash pile and no fence. With the help of a few Swazi men, we got to work tilling the ground, pulling the weeds out, picking the trash up, digging holes for the fence posts and putting the fence up. While we were digging the holes for the posts it began raining. We kept working and it kept raining. Everywhere we walked the ground became mud. It caked itself to our shoes and feet and we knew there was no way to plant this garden. Meanwhile, the rest of the team was in the house playing with the kids and getting a basic profile for each child on their age, school, health status, and family information. We finished with the fence and said our goodbyes. A few days later some of the team returned and we planted the garden. It is looking great, with most of the vegetables having survived and getting ready to be eaten.
Our attempts at planting the garden in the rain...
